Navigating Grief: A Personal Reflection and Family Guide

Navigating Grief: A Personal Reflection and Guide

Hello Family and Friends, 

We are all grieving the loss of Simone, our cousin, sister, daughter, mother, friend, and above all, family.

Personally, this loss has affected me in ways I do not fully have the words for. I feel a deep sadness and numbness, and I recognize that my body is trying to process grief. To help myself and everyone else navigate this loss, I took some time to research the grief process.

I also recognize that I am reconnecting with some of you after a long period of being apart. This requires grace, patience, empathy, and compassion, which is the only positive way forward.

I want to encourage us all to be kind to ourselves and each other. Life is short, and the small things we hold onto or refuse to forgive will not matter when we face the end of our lives. Death is appointed to all of us. This will be each of our fates one day, unless we are destined to be caught up alive in the rapture. With that said, I want to remind us to make peace with our Maker by embracing salvation through Jesus Christ and living a life that honors Him daily. We will never be perfect in this life, but we can commit to growing and becoming better each day. One comforting truth is that Simone lived her life for Jesus and never shied away from sharing Him with others. 

Some of the ways I cope with life are through prayer, relationships with God, daily reading and studying His Word, and writing. 

I have a deep passion for writing and often turn to it as a way to process and make sense of life’s experiences. Journaling allows me to reflect, explore my thoughts, and uncover insights, while blogging allows me to share these reflections with others, inspiring connection, understanding, and growth. Writing isn’t just a hobby for me, it’s a meaningful practice that helps me navigate life, find clarity, and express my authentic voice.

If you are reading this, you have found my blog, and I welcome you here. Please visit often. Professionally, I am a registered nurse, and I also hold degrees in liberal arts and psychology, which help influence and inform my understanding of human experience and behavior, relationships, growth, and development.

I began commenting in our family WhatsApp group but realized I could not fully do justice to this topic in such a brief format. To be academically and professionally responsible, I decided to create this in-depth post about grief, to help us understand what we are experiencing as individuals and as a family, and to create a healthy path toward healing. This is meant as a guide for all of us to approach one another with grace, kindness, patience, and love, recognizing that grief is personal and non-linear.

Please see this as my way of offering support, not as a display of superiority. I write today from a place of pain, as Simone’s death has impacted me deeply and also brought up memories of other losses we have endured in recent years.

Yes, I want to encourage prayer and leaning on Jesus and our shared faith in Him, but also remember, do not try to be superhuman. Allow yourselves to be human. Feel the sadness, the grief, the anger, and the pain. Then begin to heal. There is no timetable for grief. Time alone does not heal. Intentionally doing the work of healing heals. When you start feeling better, do not embrace shame or guilt for those days.

Above all, please be kind to yourselves and to one another. Remember, Jesus is close to the brokenhearted, as Psalm 34:18-19 reminds us. 

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue each time.” Psalms 34:18-19 NLT

Here are additional verses to hold onto during this time:

Matthew 5:4, Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Revelation 21:4, He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4, The God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

John 14:27, Peace I leave with you. My peace I give you. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Isaiah 41:10, So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Now let’s take a deeper look at the grieving process together. 

The Stages and Process of Grief

Grief is personal and unique to each individual, but there are common stages that can help us understand what we might be experiencing. Grief is non-linear, and you may move back and forth between stages, skip some, or experience several at once. Each stage serves a purpose in helping us process, heal, and eventually adjust to life without our loved one.

1. Shock and Denial

What it is: The initial reaction to loss, often numbness or disbelief. You may feel disconnected or in a daze.

Purpose: Provides a temporary buffer so you are not overwhelmed by the reality of the loss all at once.

How to cope:

Allow yourself to feel the numbness without judgment.

Maintain simple routines, eat, rest, hydrate.

Be patient with yourself. It is okay if you do not feel much at first. 

2. Pain and Guilt

What it is: Deep sadness sets in as denial fades. You may feel regret or blame yourself for things you could have done differently.

Purpose: Helps you acknowledge the significance of the loss and allows emotional processing.

How to cope:

Cry or express emotions. It is a healthy release.

Journal your thoughts to process guilt and sadness.

Talk with trusted friends, family, or a spiritual advisor. 

3. Anger and Frustration

What it is: Feelings of helplessness often turn into anger toward yourself, others, or the situation. 

Purpose: Provides a way to express pain outwardly, helping to release emotional pressure.

How to cope:

Channel anger into writing, art, or physical activity.

Pause before reacting to others. Anger is natural but temporary.

Recognize that anger is a part of healing, not a weakness.

4. Bargaining

What it is: Attempting to negotiate or find a way to undo the loss, often through if only thoughts or prayers.

Purpose: Offers temporary hope and a sense of control in a situation that feels uncontrollable.

How to cope:

Write down if only thoughts to externalize them.

Focus on small, practical steps you can take today.

Practice self-compassion. Grief is not a punishment. 

5. Depression

What it is: Deep sadness and emptiness as the reality of the loss becomes undeniable.

Purpose: Allows full confrontation of the loss and reflection on its impact.

How to cope:

Keep gentle routines, eat, sleep, move.

Connect with supportive people, even briefly.

Allow rest without guilt.

Seek professional support if sadness feels overwhelming. 

6. Acceptance 

What it is: Coming to terms with reality, not happiness, but acknowledgment. You begin to integrate the loss into your life.

Purpose: Enables healing and allows you to live meaningfully while honoring the memory of your loved one.

How to cope:

Find ways to honor Simone’s life and legacy.

Explore new routines, hobbies, or connections gradually.

Celebrate small moments of joy without guilt.

Reflection Questions

To help us navigate this process, I encourage everyone to reflect on these questions:

1.   What feelings am I experiencing today, and how can I honor them without judgment?

2.   How can I show myself grace as I navigate this grief?

3.   Is there someone in our family I need to forgive or ask forgiveness from to find peace?

4.   How can I contribute to unity and compassion within our family during this time?

5.   What practical steps can I take today to care for my emotional and spiritual well-being?

Call to Action

As we grieve, let us commit to treating ourselves and each other with kindness, patience, forgiveness, and compassion. Let us embrace unity as a family and lean on our shared faith and love for one another. Together, we can honor Simone’s life by supporting one another, sharing grace, and walking through this journey of grief with love and understanding.

If you have made it to the end, thank you for reading. Together we heal, together we are stronger by choice. If this helps please share it with someone who will benefit from this blog post as well. 

In Loving memory of Mamie, mama, daddy, Pat, Dave, Dionne, Carrie, Sunshine, Aunt Bee, Sonia, Peter, Ian, 😭...

God bless you, I love you all, and I’m praying for you all. Please pray for me as well 🛐

Always With Love, Waydia💜🩷