Book Review: I Shouldn't Feel This Way By Dr. Alisha Cook

Today's Book Review is:

“I Shouldn’t Feel This Way” By Dr. Alisha Cook.  

📘 Core Premise

You’re not alone in feeling guilt or shame over emotions you believe you shouldn’t have. Dr. Cook’s central message is a compassionate reframe: instead of fighting or suppressing emotional turmoil, step out of autopilot and mindfully name what’s hard, then frame the reality carefully, and finally, brave a new path forward.

🛠️ The 3-Step “Name • Frame • Brave” Framework

1.   Name What’s Hard

         •      Pause and acknowledge your feelings without judgment, whether it’s anger, loneliness, anxiety, or guilt. Writing or journaling can help crystallize what you’re experiencing.

         •      This initial act of naming brings clarity and helps you stop auto-reacting.

2.   Frame Your Reality

•              Utilize the “FRAME” acronym:

•              Facts: distinguish pure facts from emotional assumptions.

•              Roots: trace patterns or past triggers.

•              Audit: check your coping behaviors and see what’s working.

•              Mental Messages: challenge unhelpful internal dialogue.

•              Expansion: reach out to trusted people or perspectives   .

3.   Brave a New Path

         •      Based on your insight, commit to courageous next steps, such as setting boundaries, confronting ambivalence, or choosing a new behavior. It’s about action rather than perfect outcomes.

💡 Key Themes & Insights

         •      Inner Guilt & Shame

Guilt messages often carry a kernel of truth, but they can lead to unhelpful inner critics. When examined closely, they unlock insight rather than self-attack.

         •      Numbing vs. Authentic Processing

We tend to dodge discomfort with distractions, extra screen time, emotional eating, mindless scrolling. Cook urges replacing those with self-care or reflective activities to truly process emotions.

         •      Faith-Integration (for Christian Readers)

Grounded in a spiritual context, Dr. Cook emphasizes that acknowledging emotions is not spiritual failure. Instead, emotions can be explored in partnership with prayer, community, and spiritual practice.

         •      Managing Conflict & Toxicity

The method applies to internal dynamics, such as guilt about your body or self, as well as external relationships. It teaches how to observe toxic patterns and set healthier boundaries.

         •      Mind‑Body Relationships

Recognizing how neglect or negative self-perception of our bodies contributes to emotional distress is key. Practices like gentle movement and gratitude for bodily resilience help close the gap.

         •      Comparison Culture

Constant comparison erodes self-worth. Cook advises stepping back, identifying these comparisons, and nurturing gratitude and self-celebration to build resilience.

👍 Who It’s For

         •      Ideal For

People craving a practical, emotionally rooted, and spiritually anchored guide to deal with persistent guilt, shame, or internal conflict, especially if you’ve tried self‑help approaches that didn’t stick.

         •      Less Suitable If

You’re looking for a strictly clinical CBT or secular psychological manual, or if a faith-informed lens feels off‑putting.

🎯 Bottom Line

Dr. Cook combines psychological insight, structured approaches, and faith-informed compassion to help you:

         •      name emotional truths,

         •      frame them with curiosity and clarity,

         •      and act courageously from a place of self‑understanding.

It’s an empowering toolkit for transforming self‑sabotage into brave, intentional living.

I encourage you to read this book if you struggle with fears, self-doubt, guilt, shame, low self-esteem, and low self-worth. 

Waydia 🩷